Hello there lovelies, it is that time again where I feature a guest blogger!
I just love having different people share their views and opinions on different subjects. It stirs inspiration and opinions and I just love it!!
If anyone out there is interested in guest blogging for me please email me at emilysassman@gmail.com and just tell me your name, age, where you are from, and topics you want to blog about!!
Now, introducing a lovely, adorable woman, Erin! I cannot wait for you all to read her take on sex before marriage and why she thinks you SHOULD be having it!!!
Sex before Marriage? Don’t Mind if I Do!
I remember being in high school and thinking to myself that all the girls in my grade were whores. I had made this assumption solely based on the fact that I had heard they were sexually active. At the time I was the Virgin Princess. There was no way I was having sex.
Then I went to college.
I was only in school for about three weeks before I had my first boyfriend. I had never been away from home and after my first day of orientation I remember sitting there with my cell phone amazed at all the phone numbers I had just been given. Boys wanted to talk to me. This was so different from High School.
Zac was my first boyfriend. He turned into my first everything. We had only been dating a week when we had sex. How things had changed after only a few months. It was the most painful, awkward, uncomfortable, but also amazing experience of my life.
Sex made me feel sexy. It boosted my self confidence in ways I didn’t know it could. Suddenly I was more aware of the things I wore. From the jeans I put on to spending money on over-priced panties at Victoria’s Secret.
After the fact, despite my new found glow, I was afraid to tell anyone. I didn’t want anyone to think I was a slut. Now I look back on that time and realize that probably every girl I knew around my age was doing it. I just didn’t know.
I think sex before marriage is the best decision you can ever make for yourself and for your relationship. If you are smart about it, use protection, and not sleep with everything with a penis, then you’ll learn more about yourself than you could ever think possible.
Five Reasons Why You SHOULD Have Sex Before Marriage
Sexual Identity
“I know too many couples where one partner was able to cover up his or her true sexual persuasion because he or she simply didn’t have sex with anyone. Not having sex with the opposite sex can also mean you ignore those longings you might have for the same sex, and therefore don’t acknowledge them.”
I honestly could not agree more. How do you know what you want before you try it out? Now, I have never had a partner of the same sex. I don’t feel that desire to try it. I have never been attracted to a female. However, this may be because I find myself completely satisfied with a man. But what if I wasn’t? Should I suffer throughout my life because society says I can only have sex with a man? Absolutely not. Sex is natural and therefore you should have sex with whoever makes you feel the absolute best.
Size
“Don’t you want to know if your husband is packing a hunting rifle or a tiny little plastic kid’s pistol? After all, he knows how big your boobs are. I’m not saying size would be a deal breaker, but don’t you have the right to know what’s down there?”
Two words. Brian McIllwaine. Now, I am not going to sit here and claim that that relationship was anything more than a poor rebound on my behalf. There was zero chemistry there, but when you don’t want to be alone you tend to settle.
I remember the first time as clear as day. I had had a drink or two (I think way too many of my stories start out this way) and things were getting heated. I remember getting to that moment and the saddest part was he was hard, but I thought it was still soft. It was so small. I didn’t want to stop what I was doing, but the whole time all I could think about was how small it was. I couldn’t feel a thing. I knew then and there that we would never be in it for the long run. Call me shallow, call me whatever you’d like, but I couldn’t go my whole life knowing I would never ever have an orgasm.
Now also let me say that there is a thing as being too big. If you come towards me with something a foot long and six inches thick I am going to run away. I don’t want my stomach to be punctured while I attempt to deal with that. Nope.
Sexual Issues
“Sexual problems like premature ejaculation, inability to get an erection, or even an allergy to your partner’s semen are all possibilities; wouldn’t you rather deal with those issues before you’re married? This way you know if your future is even going to address them.”
This is by far the most valid argument of them all for those abstaining from sex for religious reasons. This is very important. Wouldn’t you tell your future husband if you thought you were going to have difficulties getting pregnant? Yes, of course you would. You would never want to spring that on them after the marriage. This is the same thing. Honesty is key. Sexual honesty is key.
Sex Itself
“Not everyone is great in bed, and most people don’t start out very good at all. A lot of good sex is about listening to your partner and being able to respond accordingly. But how do you know if someone is a good listener or responder unless you try it first?”
You don’t buy a car unless you have driven it first. It takes a long time with a new sex partner until you are completely comfortable telling them what you like, what doesn’t feel good, what position you never want to try again, etc. Imagine trying to do this all on your wedding night, which is supposed to be one of the most romantic nights of your life. It would be terrible! This is a way for couples to grow together. In fact I think this is one of the main reasons you fall in love with someone. This person knows the most intimate you. You will never have that connection with anyone else. That is what makes them the person you want to marry
5. Sexual Chemistry
This to me needs no introduction. Sexual Chemistry is like regular chemistry, it’s either there or it’s not. You can’t force it and you can’t create it. You can’t force yourself to find someone attractive or to kindle up a burning desire to be with someone. If it’s not there than they are not the one. What if you wait until after you’re married to realize that the spark is never there? I have heard the argument, “well if you love the person than the chemistry will be there.” WRONG. That is not true. I have been in long term relationships where I loved the person, but the chemistry had died. We stopped having sex. I stopped wanting to have sex. The relationship died not too long afterwards. That chemistry has to be there.
Put down the purity rings. It is okay to be human and to explore all the things you want to explore. If you want to make out with another girl at some college party, then do it. This is all part of the process of finding out who you are and what you want. At the end of the day the most important person is you. Someday the second most important person is going to be the one you marry. Before you say “I do”, jump into bed and make sure that they really are the one.
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justbeingemily 