Why I should not watch shows like ‘Dexter’

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There is a reason I should not watch this show (currently on Season 5 and OBSESSED)

Or watch any crime shows ever.

Or read scary books.

Or watch the news….

Because suddenly, I just know I will meet my untimely demise, and am going to be murdered.

I start creeping slowly towards my shower, and even though I have been home all day, and there is NO possible way someone could enter my place without me noticing, I whip back my shower curtain, because, you know, someone just might be hiding in there.

I get eery feelings and look at all possible “hiding places”. Which really is limited to, again, in my shower, or maybe a very small person with an abnormally small head, under my bed. That’s it.

I double and triple check that I have locked my doors and windows at night.

These shows are just totally polluting my mind. And I know it.

And yet…

I love it. I can’t get enough.

Blood and gore have no effect on me (well I mean besides putting silly ideas in my head about being murdered and such). I am not one to wince during a gory scene in a movie. I would not faint at the sign of blood. I am kind of numb to the whole idea if it.

I watch crime shows and documentaries ALL THE TIME.

And at the time they have no effect on me but really they do. I should not hear a noise at night and have my mind instantly jump to, “well,you are going to die”.

Then I think, ok, so what happens if something, heaven forbid, were to actually happen. What if when I whipped back that shower curtain and there was someone there ready to kill me??..

I mean, I would probably die.

I have ZERO self defense skills. About the much of a small child. A small, defenseless child.

I can’t even really scream that loud. I don’t have a blood curdling scream.

I know this because one time I went to a birthday party and for fun we had a contest to see who could scream the loudest (why we thought this was fun, I’ m not sure), and I lost, big time.

I mean, I have a weak, pathetic scream.

I could run, but let’s face it, even with a big ol’ burst of adrenaline and survivor instinct thrown in, I am so grossly out of shape that it’s pretty likely someone could catch me fairly quickly…

I mean basically, I am toast.

So, I’m not sure why I even put my self through the torture of just filling my head with garbage of random acts that probably will never happen to me…

But, I will probably continue to do so and make myself more and more paranoid

Because I suffer from a morbid curiosity I guess where I enjoy these crime shows and stories about people gone crazy.

I know I am not alone.

There are other weirdos out there like me whipping back that shower curtain.

🙂

 

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