When I got married one of my good friends asked me “Well how do you know he’s the one?”
A valid question, considering we had been dating six months (five of which had been long distance) and I was 18 years old.
So I answered. I lied through my teeth, but I answered.
I said “well we love each other, we respect one another (lie), we have the same goals for the future (bigger lie) and we have great communication skills (biggest lie)
Obviously if you are lying about these things, the marriage may not go exactly how you planned….
I think I read somewhere that the divorce rate is at about 50% (I am too lazy to google)
Which means, even statically you have a “promising marriage” (same age, financially stable, same religion, yada yada ya) there is a 50/50 change you won’t make it
Isn’t that swell?
So how do you know?
How do you know when that person is “the one”
Well I have a few questions you can ask yourself before you take a walk down that aisle.
This is a biggie! Do you both want kids? If either of you cannot have children would you adopt? This was big lie i told myself. I love kids, so much. I cannot wait to be a mom someday. My ex-husband hated children. It was a germ thing. Kids are messy and dirty and he wanted none of it. No sir. I thought he would change his mind and he thought I would change mind. Neither of us did. So, that was a problem…
Do you share the same religious values? If he goes to church every Sunday and you are more of a “well God could be a woman…” kind of thinker, there may be some tension. Also, back to kids, once you have kids, what religion would you teach them to practice?
How do you and your significant other communicate? When you argue are you able to work through things or are you just slinging insults at each other? Side note, words hurt. A lot. I had so many nasty things said about me that to this day are still stuck in my head. You can never take back what you say once it’s out there so choose your words carefully, especially when arguing.
4. Living arrangements
Where do you want to live? Close to your family? Close to his?
How do the families get along with each other? Does everyone hate your soon to be spouse? What will that mean? Can you handle that as a couple?
Obviously there are lots of questions to ask yourself. But if you are struggling with the five above I would really seriously consider your decision to get married.
And what really blows is that you and your partner may have everything “right”
All signs point green
And it still may not work.
No one gets married expecting to get divorced. At least, I hope not. But, it still happens.
When I said I do, I never imagined my marriage ending up like it did.
So, make sure you are 100% when you walk down that aisle that you are walking towards the person you want to spend THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH
Because if all goes well, you’ll get to, so you might as well enjoy the person’s company 🙂