This post was inspired by my dear friend Casey, who I just love and adore and who just found out she is pregnant for the first time!

She made the big announcement on Facebook, and Twitter, and Instagram and any other form of social media you can think of!

(Think she was excited? haha!)

My immediate reaction was pure joy.

I know she had been trying for about a year and I was just so so so happy for her.

(Plus I am dying for any child ever to refer to me as ‘Auntie Em”)

Then my reaction was panic and dread.

Casey was only 4 weeks along when she  made the announcement.

You all know the golden rule, wait until after the first trimester until you tell anyone, then you’re safe right?

I mean the statistics say most miscarriages happen within the first 13 weeks, and that

“Thirty-one percent of all conceptions end in miscarriage, usually in the early months of pregnancy and often before women even know they are pregnant, according to a new study.

That is of course according to a New York Times Article publish in 1988 (Thanks Google for all the outdated information I am gonna use anyway)

My thoughts were. what if something happens?

Now, I am justified in my concerns I think, just recently suffering a miscarriage myself, being just five weeks along.

When I found out I was pregnant,  I only told my partner and no one else, deciding I would not tell anyone until I was further along. Because that is what you are supposed to do

But now, I wish I had.

By the time my mom found out anything, I was already miscarrying (and quite honestly the only reason I told her anything was because I am under her insurance and when I needed insurance information it was kind of hard to hide..)

I felt alone.

I went from being shocked by the news, to getting so excited, to having it all taken away, in a matter of a week.

No one I knew in my life, who may have, actually quite possibly have, suffered the same thing, was reaching out to me because they had no idea what happened. 

While it may be a scary thing to do, I do not think there should be some rule against when to share your wonderful news.

I applaud Casey for celebrating that little bundle of cells in her belly because it is an amazing, exciting time.

And if you do share your news and something happens, that’s OK too.

Because shit happens, and it is almost all the time out of your control. 

So let’s break the rules.

If you want to blast all over your FB page about your little poppy seed baby, or if you want to wait until you breeze past that first trimester, do not feel obligated to do one or the other.

Do what feels right for you!


One comment

  1. Eli Pacheco · September 18, 2014

    Again, so wise. I know all about the convention of waiting … but you’re right. If you don’t say anything … how will anyone know if something went wrong? Something to think about. I think we should say something the moment the stick shows two lines, or whatever it does. But then, I’m a guy.

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